We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Snow and Sickness

by Snowflight

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

1.
Laid in this hole Depth and distance Imperceptible Sleep in silence The cold moves in Advancing darkness A bedside blizzard Snow and sickness
2.
Clover 04:06
As idle as a sea with no tide My patience has long worn thin Tireless in my search and unfailing superstition I’ve scoured these fields for as long as I can recall With the sun in my eyes I can only stumble and fall I’ve slept in this cradle of dead leaves and flowers Watching the clouds and recounting the hours To friends who have long since abandoned the emblem of luck For as much as I’ve tried I can only be met With assertions that I’ve failed to understand yet The prevailing unfairness that governs the world And the madness that runs amok I can’t let go
3.
It’s a trite point to make But one that only grows in prevalence with age The boredom and longing For something indispensable and just out of reach For all I’ve achieved I’ve got no right to feel this way So dismal and dissatisfied with who I’ve become By now this feeling should be so familiar Knowing all the times I’ve been deceived But I’m too far gone to change my own mind Accustomed to the company of thieves I’m treading a steep slope Hoping for a miracle to break my fall Before this resentment Turns me from living to getting by The skin still breaks And the heart still aches These data points won’t show me where I’ve gone so wrong For so long I tried to see this through But time has only led me to believe That I should turn away from all my passions And make a living in the company of thieves You’ve done so well How can you be so unhappy? For so long I tried to see this through But time has only led me to believe That I should turn away from all my passions And make a living in the company of thieves
4.
This autumn will see me disappear Better than to live in fear You could command a nation with only your voice Had you the compassion to be given the choice But my every embrace is met with a clenched fist I suppose I won’t be missed Matching black eyes staring blank as the clock hits midnight Sat on the edge of the bed I hit the lights Please don’t be surprised love It’s the best that I can do Before you speculate my intentions Know this falls on you I haven’t felt this free in quite some time Every action a slight every word a crime A sheltered existence for your sake A one way path of give and take A smile escapes me as I look to see you asleep Surely I’m not anywhere in your mind Gravity gives way as my vision fades Still I’m sorry for you to find That I’m your chandelier
5.
In your chest Where the rats have made their nest Once sat a failing mechanism Worn down from years of mistakes That built up a barricade None of us could penetrate It’s easy to understand Why you took it in your own hands To feel a semblance of control For the first and the last time Your mind was exceptional But not quite infallible The stories you chose to believe All of them falsities Reading what you left behind There’s something you never could find All the dreams that you saw come true Couldn’t change what you thought of you In the attic gathering dust Evidence of a shattered trust Things you could never say For fear we would turn you away But I speak for everyone When I say that what you’ve done Has left us incomplete Sharing in your defeat Still we aren’t ready to let you go Racked with regret for the things we didn’t know Bearing the loss of all that we had Have you noticed our boy always seems so sad? A haphazard epilogue A note scrawled in pen with no signature The frantic words from a heart malnourished and cold With no vision of growing old Clutching the empty gun That claimed both brother and son A premature goodbye God himself could not justify You should’ve told us Or we should’ve known And I’m not embarrassed to say That I wish it was me who had died that day
6.
How can we rewire this machine? To bring it back to zero Restore the status quo Something’s gone so wrong And that knowledge leaves us powerless to stop it Without a catalyst we can’t trace it There’s no source and no way to determine where it ends A fundamental flaw A deviation from the natural law The mind was not designed to withstand A chemical imbalance A set of adverse signals Clouding rationale defying will And breaking spirit The body can’t fight it The mind can’t outsmart it Human imperfection Self sustaining stasis A mathematical conclusion When pain outweighs survival An instinctive cry for help Soon turns to murder of the self Reason breeds resentment Destroying the alternatives Conditioning the brain To only process pain A chemical imbalance A set of adverse signals Clouding rationale defying will And breaking spirit The body can’t fight it The mind can’t outsmart it Human imperfection Self sustaining stasis
7.
Natalia 04:18
You came around seemingly by accident In the haze of static conversation you spoke with such conviction With liquid confidence creeping through your crooked smile And eyes dilated to hell and back that burned through the dark The music died and the lights came up You slurred an incoherent offer and grabbed me by the hand I thought it strange that you’d look to me I guess it’s something only you could understand And I can only imagine what you’ve been through To turn you into something so misled To tell the truth it’s almost laughable Were it not so pitiful instead The night went on as we shared in mutual apathy Drowning a hundred reasons for both of us to leave By some miracle we were both still standing When you were pulled away and disappeared as I hoped you’d forget me Natalia what have you done? Walking the streets in exchange for a place to rest For all the charm and beauty you’ve been given Could you not still hold out hope for the best? And I can only imagine what you’ve been through To turn you into someone so misled To tell the truth it’s almost laughable Were it not so pitiful instead
8.
Dormancy 01:24
9.
Surveying the plot of arid ground Analysis inconclusive No traces of life to be found Only empty houses Artifacts of a dead society Or a frantic evacuation An apocalyptic display Silent streets on a sunny day Like something right out of a movie A portent of global demise Without any sign or warning All systems fail and the population dies Ruling out premeditation Leaves us with limited possibilities It appears they were swiftly taken In some form of suicide by disease Final entry Given what I’ve seen We’ll never know If they could have been saved The world has gone so quiet The parks have turned to cemeteries I’m afraid the few survivors Who made it through have simply endured too much They’ve all gone mad We’ve all gone mad
10.
With no more hopeful pretense It’s time I faced the facts These nightly ventures only serve to highlight what I lack Judgement corrupted by a crisis of identity Wash away the pain if only all too temporarily Standing in the corner as the masses settle in A hundred times I’ve watched this scene play out But never found the courage to say anything Always at the mercy of my doubts I’m still so lost and desperate The feeling’s there but the night’s a blur And no amount of laughter could replace her There’s no clarity in wasting away this fast There’s no levity in drinking away the past
11.
Life has routinely shown me That it’s beyond my control To alter course and evade what lies ahead Oh well I’ve resigned myself To the mundane trappings of everyone else I no longer cling to the hope Of rectifying all the things I’ve left unsaid In the end I’ve only myself to blame When the time comes Bury me with my name Let my legacy be no more alive Than anyone else simply trying to survive Cause I’m nothing special No one really is I’m not looking for you to change my mind It’s a fact that I’ve come to realize over time The only universal constant Is mortality and frankly thank God I don’t mean to preach nihilistically In truth it’s a positive for me It’s a waste of time to sit and wonder How you’ll be remembered six feet under It’s only the moments in between The womb and the emergency room
12.
Star 06:13
Every molehill I’ve encountered Seemed a mountain on the way back down But we’re not long for this earth And it’d be senseless not to leave this town Cause I’ve been so frightened Since this feeling came to be Of knives and heavy traffic And standing too close to the balcony And I’m certain now That it can’t be far Stumble through the dark And follow the star It seems so often A never ending bargain with fate A feeble cry for answers Compounded by reflections of hate To break the vicious cycle There is no critical path In time you’ll come to find The best that you can do is adapt And I’m certain now That it can’t be far Stumble through the dark And follow the star The demons may prevail And your mind will cry for rest Victory lies in knowing You’re trying your best

about

this album was written as i was on the way out of college amid the pandemic. needless to say, most of it came from a dark place. i hope it brings you some comfort to know that we are all in this mess together, and there is far more love and compassion in this world than we are often led to believe. thank you.

credits

released June 27, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Snowflight Portland, Oregon

Whoever you are, wherever you are, I'm glad you found your way here.

contact / help

Contact Snowflight

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Snowflight, you may also like: